its a map!

I would love Alex to use this in a show.

Wow - that came out weird. I think Its a showtune judging from the tune in my head. It is definitely the unrepentant joyous outpourings of a career alcoholic. I'm not a career alcoholic. I'm strictly a part timer.


I dont care what you think
buuuut I like to drink
be it whisky or wine or beer

I like to go down the pub
or even out to a club
play some games get in good cheer

I know it will come
just after my world has spun
face on the floor I'm feeling queer

but the sick it will pass
drag myself up off my arse
find a drink and get in gear

Yeah my liver swims
in tequila and pimms
of absinthe and gin I've no fear

I'm always home in a trice
I wont remember it twice
fast asleep in my bed here

So lets go have a drink
a dance a chat or a think
for closing time is coming neeaaaaaarrr!

Smoke Me a Kipper, I'll be back for breakfast

need storage - where better?. Check This TUNE! I cant wait to put the music from my head onto paper, but I need to buy new strings before I can work out how it sounds outside my head! Wooo Me!

Self indulgence

theres something about the way she moves the throws of her hair
the easy walk of life without a worry or care
but when I think of all the men that she must meet
it makes me turn away it makes me look at my feet

Cause I know I'm someone
one day fate will lead me right to where I belong
I know I'm someone
Passing the time writing me some songs

bridge
remember youve nothing to lose cause its all the same
ya get knocked back and yes its a shame
but lifes just like that and thats far too bad
why waste my time being sad

Cause I know I'm someone
one day fate will lead me right to where I belong
I know I'm someone
Everybodies lives go a little wrong
sometimes

J'enseigne moi-même une autre langue
écouté par moi-même à tous les sons

regarde la télévision et parler à des gens
dans ce que je trouve mon surround

So fuck you.

wanted : short story inspiration.

not much more i need to say really.

oh yeah, I hate trying to think of character names, so Friends, beware, I plan on abusing all of your names as characters... Jason, I suspect you might be first! mwahhaahahahahaaaa

what what what?! and chapter one!

Again, weakness, no story. But!!! I was invited to look at Trishys blog - ya gotta love Trishy, she's very cool - at www.trishmcdonough.com and I found a link to me here!! how scary! So much for having a little, quiet, out of the way blog, off the beaten track...where noone goes... I discover I'm linked to!! Now I'm going to have to croooz round all of my friends sites, to see if Trish is the only one, or if its pandemic! gahh i'm going to have to write a story. Or not, I'm going to cheat and put chapter one of my novel here... who knows who might stumble across it... I'm linked to!

Chaper one then :



The Central Mars station sits in orbit, far enough from the planet that from the bar there, you can see everywhere that people currently lived. Aboard the station there is a hotel, shope, docking space for over one hundred ships, and a single roomed bar. It is inside this bar that we meet Jake, a man who is far from his home, and is currently slumped, unconscious, next to a recently emptied glass. Jake used to work in a music shop, sadly, at the point we join him in this story, he is unemployed. Mart the barman in the aforementioned establisment, was watching Jake intently upon this day. It had been nearly twenty minutes since he'd served him his seventh 'Momentary Mind Loss', the signature cocktail of the tiny bar. So far, there'd been no movement, and at twenty minutes, he'd have to get out the sober spray. This was a highly effective mix of chemicals which affected the brain, instantly bringing them completely back to reality. As he reached for the can, he saw Jake shudder. No need for the spray then. That was good. Jake jerked upright, and looked around.
"Where am I?" he asked. "What happened?"
"You just enjoyed your last cocktail in this bar, friend" replied the barman. "Plus You were out cold for nearly half an hour that time. The effects will wear off soon." As an afterthought, the barman added "And thats another ten credits too."
As he leant back in his chair and looked around, Jake began to remember where he was, and how he'd got there. He was at Mars Station, the main hub for ships leaving to visit the asteroid belt. Almost as soon as he remembered, he wished he weren't. About a month or so back, he'd been getting drunk on Earth, to get over the fact that Audrey had left him. He'd seen a sign offering free flights for colonists to the moon and inner planets, and he'd signed up. Drunk enough to sleep on the ship that was leaving the next morning.
It had taken over a month to reach Mars, Jake had taken one look at the planet, and returned to the orbiting station. At least there wasn't any dust up there, and it was spacious, far more spacious than the ship that had brought Jake out here. Jake had moved into a room on the station, found there were no ships for earth anytime soon, and settled into the nearest bar.
"Did you not hear me?" the barman said as he approached. "That cargo ship I was telling you about is leaving in the next half hour, so you'd better get your skates on if you want to get aboard. Dock five. Oh, and remember you get to keep the glass with that cocktail'
Thinking fast for a change, Jake ordered a takeaway drink in his new glass and stumbled out. While he walked, he looked around at the miserable and not so miserable looking faces around him, and tried to guess why they left the comforts of Earth. The tall pale man was because the sun was getting too hot, the dread locked surfer dude for the kicks of spaceflight, the little old granny because... Jake stopped. 'What's a little old granny doing out at mars?' he mumbled to himself. The colonies had only been going ten years, and no one over 50 was eligible to travel. Mulling over this mystery, Jake took a swig of his drink, and hurried on.
As he neared dock five, Jake was looking through the station windows trying to get a glimpse of his new ship. He saw nothing. He got to the gate, looked through the window adjacent to the airlock and saw, space. The ship had left already, Just at that moment, as he turned around, he was knocked flying by a short man, wearing an obvious wig. The man was wheeling a crate of boxes into a badly painted purple box scarcely bigger than the crate that was heading inside. As he stumbled to his feet, Jake realised that the purple box was actually stood inside the airlock of dock five.
"Excuse me..." began Jake
"Cant you see I'm busy here? said the man, whose name was Gus. "I've got twenty of these to load, and we're meant be out of here in ten minutes". Gus left the crate filling the doorway of the purple box, and wandered back the way he had come.
As Jake wondered what he was to do, he noticed that the crate was disappearing into the purple box. Looking closer, Jake could clearly tell that the box, until recently, had been dark blue.
"And who, prey, are you?' heard Jake.
Standing in the doorway of the box was a man dressed as a ships captain. At least, dressed like a six year old that had been told to dress up like a captain.
“Um, Yes, I'm Jake Walker... I was told that I might be able to work for you to earn passage back to Earth”
“Jake Walker eh? Do you have your own head of hair?”. As Jake nodded, he continued. “Excellent, welcome to the crew. My only requirement is that a man still has is own hair. If you cant keep your hair in your head, how are you ever going to keep all my complicated instructions in there? This is our ship, the Distra. Come inside, and you can help shift some boxes.” The Captain waved a hand and disappeared inside the box. Following him, Jake found himself in a large circular room much bigger than the purple box he had entered, with a control column in the centre, and doorways on all sides. Each doorway had a single word written on it in large glowing letters. Through one of the doorways Jake could see several of the boxes that Gus had been loading aboard. They somehow looked much smaller inside.
So whats the cargo ' asked Jake?
'We're hauling some martian rum out to the belt, then on to the moon, then Earth, then back here for more rum. . Its all you can drink by the way, except on Mondays for you. There's seven of us, and one of us has to be sober, each day, just in case'
Jake grinned. This was going to be a nice trip. Much more comfortable than his month's trip out. The captain continued his monologue.
'Just in case of pirates. Plenty of space pirates about the asteroids you know. Always out to steal cargo, ships, even robots....' The captian glanced at Jeff, the previously unmentioned robot of the crew, who was shifting boxes. 'Theres only one man jack of the lot of them worth his salt, and thats - hey, give me that rum back'.
Jake reluctantly handed back the now slightly lighter bottle of rum.
'I know I said all you can drink, but get your own. No stealing the Captains rum. Now, Where was I?'
'You were going to tell me about the only decent pirate' said Jake.
'Plenty of pirates out there my boy. Decent enough at what they do too. Evil buggers. I've lost more than one cargo to them.'
'Anyways' spoke the captain, 'You should probably see the doctor before you start. Let him have a tug on that hair of yours, check its real.' The captain pointed towards a doorway marked Hospital, and gave Jake a little push. 'His name's Minsk' Jake went through, and found himself in an empty ward room. No, not empty. Someone was sleeping on the bed in the corner.
'Hello?' called Jake. He tried again, a little louder. Still no response. Jake wandered closer, and said loudly 'Doctor Minsk?'
The doctor awoke with a start.
'Yes Captain' he cried, leaping from his bed, 'The antidotes nearly ready, just a few more minutes.' Peering at Jake, he stopped. 'You're not the Captain.' The Doctor walked over to one of the cupboards and took out a bottle of rum. 'Hair of the dog' the doctor muttered as he took a swig. 'I take it you're here for your medical. Take off your shirt and sit over there.'
Jake did as he was told, and was subjected to a variety of pokes, prods, blood samples, urine tests, eye tests, ear examinations, X rays, and all those things that doctors do when they feel like being evil. Eventually it came to an end, and the doctor pronounced Jake to be in perfect health. Jake stood up and started a sentence.
'Thank you doctor-'
The doctor walked behind Jake, and had tugged hard on his hair.
'Yup thats real. No problems at all.'
'I'd thought the Captain was joking about that.' Jake moaned, clutching his head.
'Strict rule I'm afraid. Everyone must get checked. Captains orders. Now thats all over, welcome aboard. Care to join me in a little tot of rum? Call me Cory, its all pretty much first names around here. What did you say your name was?'
'Jake' said Jake.
Cory pointed to the only other door in the room Jake had entered. 'Well, through there is the lounge, its as good a place as any to put your feet up during the trip. Couple of crates of rum in there too.'
Jake went to the door and looked through the window.
'Who're they?'
The ships doctor joined him at the door, where he could see two men inside, clearly arguing heatedly.
'Oh, thats Trevor and Chin Yee, they're our security men. Trevor is an American, a gun nut, and was kicked out of the NRA for keeping an arsenal of unregistered weapons of all sizes, which he brought to a meeting, all good, until the anti aircraft gun on the back of his pickup was used to shoot down a news helicopter, all bad. His attitude towards anything unknown, or known to be bad, is to blow it up. Chin Yee works in a completely different fashion. Yee is calm and collected, and waits for his moment. Then he strikes with blistering speed, deadly accuracy, and no one quite knows what's happened. Right now, they're both blind drunk, Trev's pissed off as this new ship doesn't have any weapons, or none we could find anyhow, and Yee's pissed off because when Trevor is in one of his moods, Yee can't meditate. I don't think we'll be going into the lounge. Might as well rest up here in the infirmary, I'll tell the Captain you're in for observation.'
As if on cue, the Captain walked into the room.
'Get ready for takeoff chaps, next stop, Asteroid Nine. Did I hear you say you were keeping the boy in for observation,
Cory? Damn shame I was hoping he'd join me in a little drinking competition to welcome him aboard.'
'Sorry Captain, but Jake has to stay right here in the infirmary.'
The Captain snorted. 'Just have to wait till tommorow then. Oh hang about, tommorows monday. cant do that. Have to make it tuesday' and with that, he left Jake and the doctor alone once more.
'I thought you said i was in perfect health' enquired Jake.
'True, true, you are. Still, I need to observe your rum capacity.'
'My What??' said Jake
Presenty, there was a bang and a whoosh, and Jake could almost hear the Captain shout 'Whooopeee!!' as the ship was launched. The doctor pulled up two chairs, and plonked a full bottle of rum on the table.
'Ice?' he asked.
Three hours, and two litres of rum later, Jake was feeling slightly worse for wear.
'Doctor-'
'Call ne Cory, please'
'Cory then...' Jake seemed to have forgotted what he was about to say. He knew it was in his heas somewhere, but for the life of him he couldnt figure it out. There it was! 'I saw a granny out there on the station.'
'A granny?' Cory looked confused.
'Yup. She must have been ninety if she was a day'
'No no no no no. Thats not possible. Noone over 50 is allowed off earth. Noone out here has been here more than a few years. Cant have been a granny.' He coughed. 'Its the rum. You're imagining things already. Best keep all this to myself.' Jake struggled to move as the doctor put the bottle to his mouth and drained the last few shots, but found himself unable.
'Just... going.. to... rest...my eyes......' he murmured, as his head dropped towards the table.
'Gotcha' said Cory, opening a cupboard. Taking out a can of sober spray, he sprayed a cloud over Jake. Bam, within seconds, Jake was completely sober, and wondering why his head was on the table.
'What happened?'
'You lost, my dear boy. I was forced to use the spray to keep you upright. One of the perks of my job, easy access to this stuff.' Cory winked at Jake. 'Time for round two. Fresh bottle of rum, coming right up. See if you can beat me next time.'
More hours passed, and more rum was consumed. Jake was sure he was getting the better of Cory this time, but once again, he found his head beginning to droop. Cory helped him lie down on one of the beds. 'You just sleep it off there, and we'll see how you are in the morning.'

***

When he awoke, Jake found himself alone. Havng no clothes other than the ones he was wearing, he decided not to bother having a shower or having a shave. Besides, he'd only even seen three rooms inside this spaceship. Three massive rooms, inside a tiny little box. How did that work? Peering through the window into the adjacent lounge, he spied the man he had seen loading the crates the day before.
`'Might as well meet the crew' he murmured to himself. '
As he entered, Gus looked up. 'Sleep well? How do you like the ship?'
'I'm Jake' said Jake. 'What's your name?'
'The moniker is Gus' said the badly wigged one.
'And what do you do around here? just move boxes?'
Gus laughed. It was a long, and vaguely evil sounding laugh, and Jake felt more than slightly discomforted by it. When he had finished laughing, some time later, Gus continued.
'No, I'm the mechanic. Spaceships break down sometimes, got to get fixed, haven't they. Besides, I've moved my last box, you're the new little fish.'
Suddenly, Jake understood the laugh.
'So how did you get into being a spacecraft mechanic? I always dreamed of that when I was a kid. '
'Me? I've always just been handy with a spanner. I got a meccano set when I was five, and it just kinda progressed from there. Bikes as a kid, then sneaky joyriding in cars, boats and motorbikes as a teen... now I'm up to spaceships. They all work on the same principle really. Never anything a bit of gaffa and a spanner cant fix.'
'Um, isnt a spaceship a bit more complicated than a bicycle?' asked Jake.
“Nope, you've just got a bloody big engine to drive the pedals. Keep it all held together nice and tight with gaffa, and its all good”. Gus replied, and that was the end of that it seemed. They sat in silence in the lounge, drinking their respective drinks once more. 'Of course... sometimes things do go a bit tits up.' added Gus after about five minutes. 'Then its a case of pulling out all the bits that are on fire, and using the gaffa and a bit of tinfoil to patch up the connections'.
Jake looked at the walls. 'Are you telling me that this spaceship is held together and flying using nothing but gaffa tape?'
'No, no, this one hasn't needed any repairs since we got it. Strange that, normally I get through a good few rolls of gaffa on a journey. Got a spare box or two of the stuff at the mo.'
'Oh, when did you get it? recently?'
'Um, well, we were getting our old ship mended in the Venus dry docks, when this bloke turns up out of nowhere, starts shouting things about the end of the world, and aliens, and the day of judgment, so we cleared out quick. We were getting wrecked with the dock doc that day, so we just went to the hangar and asked for the doctors ship. Out they come with this little blue box, key in the door(thank you valet parking). The Doc was going to kick up a fuss about his shiny new sporty ship, but by then I'd opened the door and seen inside. Bit better inside aint it. Plus, its small enough that we can bring it through an airlock. So we were given it, but when the world never ended, we thought maybe we should give it a paint job.' Gus lowered his voice conspiratorially 'Tell you what though mate, between you and me, this ship... I don't have a clue how it works. If it gets f*cked, we're f*cked.'
'Isn't there a manual' asked Jake. 'Most complicated things have a manual when you get them.'.
'No there isn't a sodding manual. I've looked. At least I've looked in every room I've been in. This bleeding ship goes on forever.' Gus opened and then took a long swill on a fresh bottle of Martian rum.
'Want some rum?' Gus offered the bottle to Jake.
Taking the bottle, Jake took a swig. Hair of the dog and all that he thought to himself.
The Captain entered.
'Not drinking on a Monday I hope Jake. I'll forgive you, as its your first day. No more mind, and you can give me that bottle.'
As he drank, the Captain explained that Asteroid Nine, their destination, was only a few hours further away. Jake, as the sober member of crew, had to be the one to radio and request landing permission upon arrival. More impending doom thought Jake.
'Righty ho, I'm off to have a nap.' The Captain picked up the now nearly empty bottle of rum as we went. 'Might as well have a nightcap.' Draining the bottle, he staggered from the room.

A note on the blog reduction.

I had to delete a chunk of my blog, as unruly elements of my mind had come and written things that shouldnt have been in the public domain. Many thanks to Trish for making me realise that. There is still the possibility that some stuff shouldnt be here, but i hope you'll all just ignore it if you see it.

Thankee

Paul.

Darkside 2: the short story.

before I begin this story, I'd like to make an observation about my motivations for writing it. Buried deep, deep within my mind, is an untold reservoir of anger, of jealousy, selfishness, and malicious intent, against which I fight every day and night to be the person I am. Inevitably, these negative emotions have to come out somehow, and it seems that they always direct themselves at me. I hate it when I upset or disappoint the people I care about most, and I manage that frequently.

The following came from somewhere else in my mind where people should tread softly.


Memoir of a Murderer.


(sorry guys, i was going to put up my latest story, but I'm still having troubles with the fact it came out of my mind - its a bit scary. Currently this story is under my bed, where i wont run across it by accident.)

darkside

I'm full of things to put in the book, but i'm concerned about the dark side. I want a light and fluffy book, dont I ?

In the meantime I wrote another short story the other night... in which I let the scarier side of my head out for a walk in the park. The story is very darkside, so much so I'm not sure I want people to know what sort of evil thought is allowed to live behind my eyes where only I can see.

Anyways, Darkside it is, and darkside will be coming to this post, probably tommorow.

(additional - this post has been reduced as I'm also reserving other parts of my mind that inadvertently popped out when I was posting.... its a shame... very few people will have read what I wrote about eyes!)

what started as a story became an interesting diary entry.

(authors note to self... write song - hole in the head, bah crap its coming out now... at least a dodgy first draft)

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hole in the Head.

I found a hole in my head
where things bleed through
my life ebbs away
what can I do
its a hole in my brain
where knowlege drains
of the things I say and do


Chorus:( first line changes??)
There's a hole in my head
a hole in my head
it makes me confused
am I alive or am I dead
There's a hole in my head
a hole in my head
is this a dream, can I wake up
instead

theres a place in me
where I can go
a place that the world
i'll never show
somewhere for the life that i must hide
somewhere for the darkness i keep inside
a place where i can be with you
the hole in my head that i fell through

Chorus

oh i wish and I wish and I wish and I wish
for a better life my friend

with you.

---